I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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