does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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