The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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