is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bring money and cleavage
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My vagina is officially offended.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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