This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
