I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
