I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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