Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
