Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
