Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
