I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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