Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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