Your mouth is God's brothel.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We got so high we made milksteak
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What's dad's email?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.