Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize