OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
