I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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