So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
