no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
