I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize