I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
