Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
