I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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