Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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