Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You ruined the universe
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
