We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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