i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
