And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
