i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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