Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
