I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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