I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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