last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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