so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
A+ Viking dick
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
