he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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