bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
