The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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