Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
