So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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