I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
