You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
