I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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