i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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