Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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