Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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