just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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