Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
