Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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