I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
