He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
