if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
