You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
