If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
