I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is wine microwaveable?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
