considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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