guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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