Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
