More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
