My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
