New invention idea: vibrating tampons
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
