Define "chronic" masturbator.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
