I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
