Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
